Stop Fem-Splaining: What ‘Women Against Feminism’ Gets Right

“Women Against Feminism are asking the right questions. And they deserve to be heard, not harangued.” So excited to be part of this movement, even though I have gotten some wrinkles in the past week from the lack of sleep. The disadvantage of the world wide net is that there are always so many interesting people awake when you should be asleep 🙂 But this is no time for sleeping. There is a very good reason that I am posting criticism of Feminism on a page that has Pakistan in the title. All I can see on the media pages that I read is the desire to uncriticially copy this ideology and send Pakistan and it’s neighbourinng countries down the same path that ‘Western’ countries have been going since the 1960s. During the past few weeks I was often thinking about the comment that a woman had posted under an Express Tribune article once: “Everything from Western countries comes 20/30 years later to Pakistan.” It was in relation to materialism, which seemed quite rampant to me when I was there. Especially considering that Europe is experiencing the generation Y. I am not sure if that means because they keep asking ‘Why?’ but there is certainly a different attitude to how it was in the 90s when people wanted to make much money and buy whatever they could. NOw people have come to the conclusion that a new car doesn’t make you happy and that children don’t need a mass of toys but a couple are fine and much better if their parents and their family have some time for them. Many people are consciously deciding to work less, thus earn less but have more time for relationships with other humans. When I looked at a phd programme with my house mate and she read ‘after this programme you will be ready for top positions’ her conclusion “no, you won’t have a life anymore if you do that”. Last year at a conference I met a woman who was doing a 30 hour work week in order to have to have time for her friends. Humans are social animals. Only being at work where you can’t openly share everything will only send us to an early grave. Warren Farrell once asked his ex-wife, who was the vice CEO of Cathy Pacific if she was aiming for the top post: “OMG, Warren, why would I? I have more money than I can ever spend. What I need is time with my family, my husband and my children.” When you then see feminists complaining loudly that not even women are CEOs you just wonder whether these people have been living under a rock. Warren Farrell says it perfectly: “Women are cleverer than men” (in that aspect). They have realised what really counts. In does worry me a great deal that people in Pakistan want to copy this ideology while completely ignoring that it has not made women happy in those countries where it was implemented. No one would argue, that women’s quality of life in Pakistan needs to be improved, but so does men’s. When I was there I saw both having different challenges. Feminism ignores the challenges that men face as the ideology is based on the assumption that women have challenges and men have privileges. In reality both, men and women have privileges and challenges. While Feminists see pregancy as a burden I feel extremely privileged that I will once day have my and my beloved’s child grow inside of me. I am sure that especially at the end it is going to be a challenge (walking, sleeping, clothes), however, so is climbing a mountain and I have done that quite a few times. I feel terribly sad for men that they can’t go through that experience. While I am certainly not advocating for traditional gender roles (but not judging anyone who lives that way) I will also have the privilege to spend some time bonding with my child. While I hope that in the instance there would be enough financial stability for her or his father to stay with us as well I know that this is conditional whereas my time with her or him is granted by my being female. Another reason why I detest Feminism. Feminists refer to child rearing as ‘unpaid labour’. While it can certainly be hard work as I know from many hours of babysitting I have always found the time with children priceless. And again, I believe that adult humans also need contact with other adult humans and more brain stimulation that talk with children can give – -after babysitting my brain always craved intellectual feeding – so would not want to stay home until they go to school but will certainly prefer a flexible work schedule, something that men are only beginning to be granted at. Ironically it was the Conservative government that introduced extensive paternal leave in Germany. I always used to see myself as leftist as they always claim to be for social justice but recently with more reding on the matter I have come to realise that they send to things often only from the women’s perspective. Such a biased view tends not to help anyone in the end. PS: my dad used to have a very unflexible job at the German railways but during the holidays he would just lie to his colleagues that the holiday club was closed and he had no other option but to take me to his office, where I would sit all day and read Mickey Mouse comics and then go to the cafeteria with or ride the escalator (it was a special open one called paternoster).


The latest skirmish on the gender battlefield is “Women Against Feminism”: women and girls taking to the social media to declare that they don’t need or want feminism, usually via photos of themselves with handwritten placards. The feminist reaction has ranged from mockery to dismay to somewhat patronizing (or should that be “matronizing”?) lectures on why these dissidents are wrong. But, while the anti-feminist rebellion has its eye-rolling moments, it raises valid questions about the state of Western feminism in the 21st Century — questions that must be addressed if we are to continue making progress toward real gender equality.

Female anti-feminism is nothing new. In the 19th century, plenty of women were hostile to the women’s movement and to women who pursued nontraditional paths. In the 1970s, Marabel Morgan’s regressive manifesto The Total Womanwas a top best-seller, and Phyllis Schlafly led opposition to…

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